The short-lived anticipation that the onset of the new year brought, though optimistic and thoroughly terrifying, is already falling by the wayside yet rising with new anticipations.
By now if you follow this blog, you know a little bit about me. You know that I’m a young man attempting to make his mark in the City of Chicago. You probably have assumed, whether through my writing or my personal interactions between you and I, that I am solidly caught in a sort of purgatory of an emotional state. This purgatory isn’t bad; on the contrary, I’d even say that 2015 has been a fantastic year for me personally and already exercises a lot of promise for my personal development. Yet, to say that my current condition is fully defined is about as far from the truth as is humanly possible.
This purgatory that I’m stuck in is more loose than firm, undefined than determined, made of sand as opposed to cobblestone. I admit that, and that admittance of uncertainty is both daunting and incredibly exciting at the same time.
The possibility that my current situation could lead to utter disappointment or a miraculous success story is, according to my understanding of life, the perfect situation to be set in. Anything is definable, and the absolute nothingness laid out before me leads imagination the power to chart a pathway forward.
I’ve often compartmentalized my brief history of living through the model of the wary explorer traveling down the yellow wood’s path, to borrow from Robert Frost’s immortal poem. So much of my experiences have been defined by choosing between separate paths; the road far traveled or the one traveled rarely. I, more often than not, live my life as a constant battle between the two differing paths and the promises that either one contains.
Yet in my current situation, I’ve been awarded with an incredibly enormous yet fruitful task. Instead of the caravan trudging along paths already laid by men and women who came before, I’ve began to approach my current situation as an explorer would we gazing upon an unexplored mountain range; daring, treacherous, yet overflowing with reward.
I’ve written before about my changing views of the world and my ideas for who I want to be when I ‘grow up’, not that I haven’t already grown up to an extent. No, but rather in the coming months you’ll see me writing often from the vantage point of someone who is not struggling to retreat from a pathway poorly laid, but rather from the viewpoint of a pioneer adventuring through the dark shadows of a towering forest unexplored by the minds of man. Daring, I know, and overripe with an ounce of dramatic exaggeration, but I view my journey this year as nothing short of a daring adventure.
It only seems fitting that I ended 2014 by finally finishing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, an excellent series that questions the adventuring spirit of all creatures who dare to leave the confines of the abode in pursuit of something greater. I have always been in love with the Hobbit, yet finishing the trilogy completed for me a journey of words that had never fully been completed. My journey won’t be laid bare by the warfare of orcs or the swoops of dragons from under the mountain, but rather by dealing with my own inner beasts in an adventure that will challenge the makeup of my own being.
I’ve often shied away from writing about my life, through the blog that is, in prose that is overly dramatic and flowery. I, more often than not, combine the confines of my daily speech with the pragmatic words authored by other authors my age in a combination that I’ve always believed would cater to the wishes of the reader. Though much of this has been fully sincere, there is no doubt that my online posts do not share the same spirit or drive that my personal writings do. This year, I’ll attempt to correct that.
Hopefully, by the last second of the ticking clock of 2015, you the reader can look upon my writings and find something of worth. Surely I hope within my daily life that I can cherry-pick something valuable out of the garbage once and a while. I’m at that point in the journey where I am merely tightening my laces and fastening the backpack upon my shoulders, gazing at the immensity of the project set out before me. Join me, if you’re so inclined.